God has an answer for Loneliness, even during the most wonderful time of the year...
For the past few years, Patsy and I have enjoyed watching the Hallmark Holiday movies. Though the plots are surprisingly similar, we never get tired of them. With the setting in the midst of the holiday season, two characters, one man and one woman, opposites in many respects, experience a chance encounter. At some point, friction enters the picture but they find they are better together than apart. They almost kiss but decide they can’t do that yet because they have thirty more minutes of film to use up. So they misunderstand each other for ten minutes, followed by a period of reconciliation for ten minutes, followed by a kiss (which does not last ten minutes) and in the midst of holiday magic, they all live happily ever after. Sounds too good to believe? The truth is, it is. The reality is the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” is not wonderful for a lot of us.
The fact is many of us experience significant loneliness during the holidays. In 2017, the AARP Foundation commissioned a survey of Americans 18 and over to study how pervasive loneliness was during the holiday period. They found 31 percent said they had felt lonely on occasion during the five previous holiday seasons. By 2021, the group that experienced loneliness during the holiday period had climbed to 55 percent. The truth is the holidays are real tough for many of us when it comes to loneliness. Some experience loneliness in the midst of isolation. Others experience loneliness even when surrounded by crowd of people. What causes loneliness? For many it is the loss of loved ones with whom we have shared the holidays with for many years. For some the loss is death. For others the loss is produced by distance. For yet others, the cause of loneliness is family stresses. There are empty seats at the table. Hugs that are no longer shared. For all, the traditions we once enjoyed are either not experienced or have lost their luster and meaning.
So what can we do address the loneliness? First, remember that God is always with you. Remember how God, the Son, came. Unlike the perfectly arranged fanfare of holiday lights and music, Jesus was born in a mess. Jesus’ birthplace was a dirty, stinky manger. Jesus Christ, Immanuel, which literally means “God be with us,” chose to be born in a mess. And now Jesus promises to be with us always, even in our holiday messes.
Second, God is always present to talk to. We all remember the story of Jonah. In a nutshell, God gave Jonah a Seal Team 6 assignment. Travel to the evil empire of Nineveh and deliver God’s message to repent. But Jonah fails to honor God’s directive. He commits treason and goes AWOL. Instead of heading to Nineveh, he heads the opposite direction. He buys a ticket for a cruise on a ship. But once the ship gets out to sea, God causes a great storm and the ship and all on board are about to sink. Jonah’s rebellion against God becomes known to the ships crew. They throw Jonah into the sea and a huge fish swallows him. If there was ever isolation, this was it. But, Jonah decides to pray to God. Jonah’s objective was to run away from God. So how far from God did Jonah get when he decided to pray? The Bible says Jonah was “deep in the realm of the dead”, from the “very heart of the sea”, “the deep surrounded me”; “seaweed was wrapped around my head”. Jonah was at the “roots of the mountains”. Where was Jonah when he prayed to God? Way Down Real Deep, in the ocean. Talk about loneliness. What a mess. Total disaster for Jonah is just around the corner. But the Bible records the rest of the story. From deep in the sea, from inside a huge fish, God hears Jonah’s prayer. And God answered Jonah’s prayer. Unlike Jonah, the fish follows God’s instruction. The fish heads to dry land and spits Jonah out. (Jonah 1-2) The point? Regardless of how isolated we are; regardless of how alone we are; God is always present to hear us. God’s receiver is always turned on. God is always present to talk.
Third, we can encourage each other. In the beginning, the very first thing that God said was bad was loneliness. “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gen 2:18) So God addressed that problem. He gave us each other, and he gave us purpose for being together. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) Establishing relationships with each other which are deep enough to know when some of us are lonely, taking time to understand their pain and offer comfort, reminding them they are not alone, will go a long way toward helping combat loneliness.
We all experience different feelings during the holiday, but regardless what those feelings are, whether loneliness or rejoicing, we can feel comfort from the words of Isaiah about the ever presence of our Father who loves us despite how lonely we may feel. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10).
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing (Rom 15:13) and may you have a wonderful Holiday and Christmas season.
- David Wilson
The fact is many of us experience significant loneliness during the holidays. In 2017, the AARP Foundation commissioned a survey of Americans 18 and over to study how pervasive loneliness was during the holiday period. They found 31 percent said they had felt lonely on occasion during the five previous holiday seasons. By 2021, the group that experienced loneliness during the holiday period had climbed to 55 percent. The truth is the holidays are real tough for many of us when it comes to loneliness. Some experience loneliness in the midst of isolation. Others experience loneliness even when surrounded by crowd of people. What causes loneliness? For many it is the loss of loved ones with whom we have shared the holidays with for many years. For some the loss is death. For others the loss is produced by distance. For yet others, the cause of loneliness is family stresses. There are empty seats at the table. Hugs that are no longer shared. For all, the traditions we once enjoyed are either not experienced or have lost their luster and meaning.
So what can we do address the loneliness? First, remember that God is always with you. Remember how God, the Son, came. Unlike the perfectly arranged fanfare of holiday lights and music, Jesus was born in a mess. Jesus’ birthplace was a dirty, stinky manger. Jesus Christ, Immanuel, which literally means “God be with us,” chose to be born in a mess. And now Jesus promises to be with us always, even in our holiday messes.
Second, God is always present to talk to. We all remember the story of Jonah. In a nutshell, God gave Jonah a Seal Team 6 assignment. Travel to the evil empire of Nineveh and deliver God’s message to repent. But Jonah fails to honor God’s directive. He commits treason and goes AWOL. Instead of heading to Nineveh, he heads the opposite direction. He buys a ticket for a cruise on a ship. But once the ship gets out to sea, God causes a great storm and the ship and all on board are about to sink. Jonah’s rebellion against God becomes known to the ships crew. They throw Jonah into the sea and a huge fish swallows him. If there was ever isolation, this was it. But, Jonah decides to pray to God. Jonah’s objective was to run away from God. So how far from God did Jonah get when he decided to pray? The Bible says Jonah was “deep in the realm of the dead”, from the “very heart of the sea”, “the deep surrounded me”; “seaweed was wrapped around my head”. Jonah was at the “roots of the mountains”. Where was Jonah when he prayed to God? Way Down Real Deep, in the ocean. Talk about loneliness. What a mess. Total disaster for Jonah is just around the corner. But the Bible records the rest of the story. From deep in the sea, from inside a huge fish, God hears Jonah’s prayer. And God answered Jonah’s prayer. Unlike Jonah, the fish follows God’s instruction. The fish heads to dry land and spits Jonah out. (Jonah 1-2) The point? Regardless of how isolated we are; regardless of how alone we are; God is always present to hear us. God’s receiver is always turned on. God is always present to talk.
Third, we can encourage each other. In the beginning, the very first thing that God said was bad was loneliness. “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gen 2:18) So God addressed that problem. He gave us each other, and he gave us purpose for being together. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) Establishing relationships with each other which are deep enough to know when some of us are lonely, taking time to understand their pain and offer comfort, reminding them they are not alone, will go a long way toward helping combat loneliness.
We all experience different feelings during the holiday, but regardless what those feelings are, whether loneliness or rejoicing, we can feel comfort from the words of Isaiah about the ever presence of our Father who loves us despite how lonely we may feel. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10).
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing (Rom 15:13) and may you have a wonderful Holiday and Christmas season.
- David Wilson
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